I'm a writer, comedian, and responsible pet owner. Available for weddings and bar mitzvahs (but just to eat).

Management: Brian Steinberg at Principato Young | 212-725-0010

Contact: eliot@eliotglazer.com

My web serieses, It Gets Betterish, Haunting Renditions, and Eliot's Sketch Pad are worth your time, I promise.

I also created My Parents Were Awesome, which is also a book that you can buy! With money!

I WOKE UP LIKE THIS, AND THEN I CHECKED TWITTER AND WAS LIKE OMG!

I WOKE UP LIKE THIS, AND THEN I CHECKED TWITTER AND WAS LIKE OMG!

A new type of variety show with comedy, dance, music, video, and original mashups by Chambaland and DJ Lobsterdust.
 
Featuring:
Hari Kondabolu (Totally Biased, Conan, Letterman)
Ilana Glazer (Broad City)
Pop Roulette
Varsity Interpretive Dance Squad
BacKspace Performance Ensemble
DNA Comedy
 
Monday, April 21, 2014
The Upright Citizens Brigade Theater
307 W. 26th St., Manhattan
8:00pm


Tickets: $5 (Reserve yours now!)
RSVP on Facebook

A new type of variety show with comedy, dance, music, video, and original mashups by Chambaland and DJ Lobsterdust.
 
Featuring:
Hari Kondabolu (Totally Biased, Conan, Letterman)
Ilana Glazer (Broad City)
Pop Roulette
Varsity Interpretive Dance Squad
BacKspace Performance Ensemble
DNA Comedy
 
Monday, April 21, 2014
The Upright Citizens Brigade Theater
307 W. 26th St., Manhattan
8:00pm
Tickets: $5 (Reserve yours now!)
RSVP on Facebook

HAUNTING RENDITIONS LIVE! 
Union Hall.Brooklyn.March 30.8:00pm.$8.00 
https://www.facebook.com/events/421834097952258/

HAUNTING RENDITIONS LIVE! 

Union Hall.
Brooklyn.
March 30.
8:00pm.
$8.00 

https://www.facebook.com/events/421834097952258/

Watch your back, Long Island Medium!

It’s the Reluctant Gay Dude’s Guide to Modern Gay Vernacular: Part Two: Anne Frank Edition

Hoping to get to the ‘bottom’ of twink hairy ass shaming, I decided to kiki with some of the folks enjoying one of my favorite new brunches at Boxers HK this weekend. What better way to get the tea on body hair expectations than by chatting with a bunch of gays enjoying plenty of booze with their over easy eggs.

Q: Who is this?

A) Lady Gaga in 2010
B) Ashlee Simpson in 2009
C) Christina Aguilera in 2008

FUCKING B, guys. B!!!

Under…that…box?

Upcoming Shows if you’re interested. And if you’re not, come on! “Being interested” is what COOL people do!

2/23/14 Asssscat! Live

2/25/14 Dale Radio Live

2/26/14 The Rosie O’Donnell Show LIVE!

Also, this is a jacket I saw IRL:
Watch more video from the Top Picks channel on Frequency

Happy Belated Halloween!

HOPE YOU DON’T HAVE AIDS????

TIMELESS CHEMISTRY

"That Audrey Hepburn/Brooke Shields look"

mikd33:

#BeaADay 147/365 1.31.14 from my daily #BeaArthur art project #BANGERZ

Miami, you’ve got style!

mikd33:

#BeaADay 147/365 1.31.14 from my daily #BeaArthur art project #BANGERZ

Miami, you’ve got style!

#aids

#aids

I mean, if I was caught in a love nest with 15 12-year-old girls tomorrow, people would think, ‘Yeah, I always knew that about him.’ Nothing I could come up with would surprise anyone. I admit to it all.