It’s the Reluctant Gay Dude’s Guide to Modern Gay Vernacular: Part Two: Anne Frank Edition
Hoping to get to the ‘bottom’ of twink hairy ass shaming, I decided to kiki with some of the folks enjoying one of my favorite new brunches at Boxers HK this weekend. What better way to get the tea on body hair expectations than by chatting with a bunch of gays enjoying plenty of booze with their over easy eggs.
Q: Who is this?
A) Lady Gaga in 2010
B) Ashlee Simpson in 2009
C) Christina Aguilera in 2008
FUCKING B, guys. B!!!
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Happy Belated Halloween!
HOPE YOU DON’T HAVE AIDS????
"That Audrey Hepburn/Brooke Shields look"
#BeaADay 147/365 1.31.14 from my daily #BeaArthur art project #BANGERZ
Miami, you’ve got style!
I mean, if I was caught in a love nest with 15 12-year-old girls tomorrow, people would think, ‘Yeah, I always knew that about him.’ Nothing I could come up with would surprise anyone. I admit to it all.
I am going to beat the living fuck out him. I am breaking every rule in boxing to make sure I fuck him right up.
Once I am done with him, I am going to whip my dick out and piss on him, right in his motherfucking face.
Next’s “Too Close” may APPEAR to be a 90’s anthem about BONERS, but it might also be a meditation on ETERNAL YOUTH!!!
This guy - with the hair - wrote a super-shitty, eerily homophobic, blatantly misogynistic “review” for Esquire of HBO’s Looking, a show about self-respecting gay guys that will potentially aid terrified, closeted kids who need verification that they can reach adulthood in one piece.
So, again, THIS guy - with the hair - wrote that the characters “hook up without fear of STDs, yet no one looks like they’re having any fun.” And he wrote of the hilarious, brilliant Lauren Weedman that she “doesn’t take her clothes off.”
In 2014, he wrote this.
This guy - with that hair! Like Andre on The Real World: San Francisco, but devoid of charm.
Or Jamie Lee Curtis going as Yanni for Halloween.
Or Yanni going as “Dead Yanni” for Halloween.
This guy - with the hair - also said the show takes place in San Francisco, where “evidently there are no straight guys.” Which is SUPER funny because you know where there ARE straight guys? FUCKING EVERYWHERE ELSE.
And how about that HAIR? It’s like he’s a roadie for Maroon 5 who’s still deciding whether or not to grow out his soul patch.
Or an extra from “Entourage” rocking bootcut jeans because skinny jeans are “for homos.”
Or like Diane Keaton got a blowout and then IMMEDIATELY asphyxiated.
Also, his name is Mick Stingley, which is - ironically - PRETTY GAY. Hehe, right?
"Be My Lover" by La Bouche: solid proof that love is TERRIFYING