I'm a writer, comedian, and responsible pet owner. Available for weddings and bar mitzvahs (but just to eat).

Management: Brian Steinberg at Principato Young | 212-725-0010

Contact: eliot@eliotglazer.com

My web serieses, It Gets Betterish, Haunting Renditions, and Eliot's Sketch Pad are worth your time, I promise.

I also created My Parents Were Awesome, which is also a book that you can buy! With money!

Anal Massage Goes Deeper Than You May Have Ever Imagined

anal massage[Beware: Ass jokes ahead]

Oh, brother. I have rapidly fallen down the rabbit hole that is Videos About Anal Massage. Sure, a short clip of Dr. Joseph Kramer, Ph.D. talking graphically about “hating my a**hole” (from the 1998 video Uranus: Self Anal Massage for Men, the perfect Father’s Day gift) may be tearing up the web right now, butt that video is merely touching the surface.

After the jump, not only will you get to know Dr. Kramer very, very personally, but you’ll also find a barrage of related videos, most via Erotic Massage's (NSFW) YouTube Channel. Seriously, the dude teeters heavily on pedophilia with the claim that “good boys” discover erotic self-massaging at a young age, whcih seems like he’s sending out a mating call Chris Hanson.

So strap on your Nightmare Goggles and hike up your underwear. Things are about to get ass-inine ):

Meet Dr. Kramer:

Uh oh, more Dr. Kramer:

"Little babies enjoy their a**holes." - Dr. Joseph Kramer, Ph.D.

Come along with Dr. Kramer and friends on his Communal Orgasmic Yoga For Men Retreat!

"I would like to be in an orgasmic state all the time." - Dr. Joseph Kramer, Ph.D.

"Open your ass and your heart and mind will follow," claims "Sexological Bodyworker" Chester Mainard, who was probably named with the "Sexological Bodyworker" prefix in mind

Roy and Suz discuss the benefits anal massage has had on their relationship (and also I want to hang out with them, but not in a sexual way):

Angela Lansbury doppleganger Juliet Anderson provides her “masturbation memoir”:

Annie Sprinkle “extols the virtues” of limp d*cks, which is easy to do when you “think about lesbians”:

Laraji demonstrates a laughgasm, which is exactly what you think it is, and exactly how you’d expect it to be filmed:


  1. 50thousandtimes reblogged this from eliotglazer
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  3. jarvitron reblogged this from eliotglazer and added:
    I can’t stop thinking about an entire nudist/anus massage sitcom filmed entirely from the saggy gut up.
  4. ilanaglazer reblogged this from eliotglazer
  5. urlesque reblogged this from eliotglazer and added:
    Urlesque! But if...wanna go read about these surprisingly dorky
  6. iamsosorry said: I am AGHAST.
  7. eliotglazer posted this