I'm a writer, comedian, and responsible pet owner. Available for weddings and bar mitzvahs (but just to eat).

Management: Brian Steinberg at Principato Young | 212-725-0010

Contact: eliot@eliotglazer.com

My web serieses, It Gets Betterish and Eliot's Sketch Pad are worth your time, I promise.

I also created My Parents Were Awesome, which is also a book that you can buy! With money!

Upcoming shows:

1/30/13 Nights of our Lives @ UCB Chelsea, NYC

2/4/13 My High School Boyfriend Was Gay @ UCB Chelsea, NYC

2/14/13 The Rejection Show @ Littlefield, Brooklyn

2/21/13 Found Footage Festival @ Nitehawk, Brooklyn

2/27/13 Big Effing Deal @ 21, NYC

3/8/13 Buttski and Glasscock's New Talent Blowout @ The PIT, NYC

3/27/13 How I Learned @ Happy Endings, NYC

4/3/13 STFU Book Release Party @ Housing Works Bookstore, NYC

hashtagawsu:

America Won’t Shut Up About Tits!

That’s right, America is just buzzing about this hot, new trend that we know as, well, tits. From shopping malls, to office complexes, people can’t get enough tits. Tits are a thing and people are talking about them, that’s for sure.

THIS WEEK:

  • We talk to a specialist in the field of Tits, Tittery and Tittography, Dr. Roberto Squeef. (Eliot Glazer)
  • We chat with a Tit Doctor at Josh Hopkins University, whose work many say is the genesis for this recent interest in tits, Dr. Brooke Demento. (Halle Kiefer)
  • Jason struggles to throw a tit-themed party for his sister-in-law, Pat remembers there being tits back when he was in high school, and we’re paid yet another wonderful visit from our good friend, Hank Schlitz, aka The Befuddler.

All that and more, plus music from the Foo Fighters! This week, on America Won’t Shut Up!

REVIEW/SUBSCRIBE ON ITUNES | OR NOT

I talked tits!

CWATF Episode #38: Eliot Glazer (@eliotglazer) chats with Sally Kellerman (@Sally_Kellerman)

conversationswithatwitterfeed:

Eliot Glazer is a writer and comedian living in New York City. He’s the star and creator of the web series Eliot’s Sketch Pad and It Gets Betterish.

Watch Eliot chat with Sally Kellerman about snuggling, fetuses and ball gags.

Follow Eliot on Twitter here.

Me, creepin’ on Sally Kellerman.

These dogs are SO GAY!

Excuse me, iTunes, you forgot something.

Brownstone’s VEVO channel only has the a capella version of “If You Love Me,” for some reason, and I certainly am not complaining.

I <3 The 90’s

I <3 The 90’s

Here&#8217;s a podcast about the time my bestie and I went to a fake wedding hosted by the occult, where, incidentally, I learned about vaginal hygiene!

Here’s a podcast about the time my bestie and I went to a fake wedding hosted by the occult, where, incidentally, I learned about vaginal hygiene!

MAYA ANGELOU: HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE (and, also, Cupcake Enthusiast)

And you thought I was the gay one?

Brava!

What would it look like if Kris Jenner sabotaged Walter Cronkite?

Remember when Oprah and Gayle and Paula Deen all wore PAJAMAS together, and then they rode on Paula’s grandson’s HOME BUNGEE CORD MACHINE, and then PAULA DEEN SAID SHE PEES AND FARTS AT THE SAME TIME?

WELL, DO YOU??? DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN THAT HAPPENED???

PONIES! ASIAN ASIANS! KATE MCKINNON!

Welcome to the second episode of my web series, Eliot’s Sketch Pad on Above Average.

ocdwarrior:

Fuck you Fox News and The Fox Nation. Fuck you for using a picture of Mrs. Doubtfire when reporting (linking) to a story on transgender health coverage. Fuck you.
Link to story (click only if you must, I do not want to give them traffic).

“I’m melting like a snow cone in Phoenix.” — Mrs. Doubtfire and also TRANSGENDERED PEOPLE EVERYWHERE, I guess?

ocdwarrior:

Fuck you Fox News and The Fox Nation. Fuck you for using a picture of Mrs. Doubtfire when reporting (linking) to a story on transgender health coverage. Fuck you.

Link to story (click only if you must, I do not want to give them traffic).

“I’m melting like a snow cone in Phoenix.” — Mrs. Doubtfire and also TRANSGENDERED PEOPLE EVERYWHERE, I guess?

Source: ocdwarrior

This is how Kim Richards “dives.”